Twists and Turns

2004-01-15T13:19:00.000-05:00

Every day I tell myself that I should write a letter to Mike, and every day I somehow manage to not get around to it. I don't know what I'm so afraid of, but something deep inside me just won't let me write that letter. I think I'm afraid of writing something I'll regret. I usually manage to do that, especially if I write late at night. I've determined that composing letters or e-mails at night is the worst possible thing I could ever do, because I always, without fail, end up saying something that I regret in the morning.

So I've developed this odd crush on a friend of mine who will remain unnamed (I never know whose prying eyes will stumble upon this). I sort of can't wait till we all go back to our respective colleges so that the phase will pass over, because as usual, it's one of those crushes that will go absolutely nowhere. Maybe it's just my low self-esteem that makes me think this, but somehow I always end up falling for guys that are way out of my league. I don't know why I always think guys are too good for me, but I do. And you know what? They usually do too.

I got my hair cut. I love it.

I think my hardcore partying (well, not really partying, but staying out wicked late every night, at least) is catching up with me - I'm soooo tired, even though I slept till 1pm. Tonight should probably be a night off - yeah, like that will happen.

I don't understand how half the time I have Scarlett O'Hara Syndrome (I can make any man in the world love me if I choose to do so) and half the time I have Lucy from Peanuts Syndrome (*sigh* sometimes I think no one will ever love me). Maybe I'm bipolar. Just kidding, but still, my self-esteem needs to stop having such large goddamn mood swings. Then maybe my life will be a little easier. Like I told Ben last night, the problem I suffer from most frequently is WBS - Whiny Bitch Syndrome.

Time to get ready for work... yet another lovely evening at the co-op. There's nowhere I'd rather be. *snort* Riiiiiiight.

2004-01-06T21:04:00.000-05:00

"God help the man who ever really loves you. You'd break his heart, my darling, cruel, destructive little cat who is so careless and confident she doesn't even trouble to sheathe her claws." -Gone with the Wind

There are two things I want out of life:
1. For a man to love me as much as Rhett loved Scarlett, and
2. To not be so wrapped up in myself that a love like that could ever pass me by.

Please, God, never let me become that woman - too confident, too conceited, too goddamn self-absorbed to see what was right in front of her.

I am afraid of becoming her.

But then again, maybe a love like that only comes along in books and movies. Maybe I'm too well-read to ever be happy with a man in real life - my expectations are probably too damn high. Is it better to search for a dream that may never come true or to accept a reality about which you'll never feel completely satisfied?

I miss Mike more than I thought I would, more than I probably should given our circumstances. We only dated for a short period of time... in fact, it's hard for me to even say we dated, because we never discussed the status of our relationship until we "broke up." But I think I miss him so much because I feel robbed of the opportunity to discover the potential of what we could have had. Maybe it wouldn't have worked out - maybe he would have been so hung up on Debbie that our relationship never would have gotten a chance to develop, or maybe we would have realized that we were completely incompatible. But now I feel like I'll never know. I know that he will be back in a year and that there's always a chance that something will happen when he comes back. Part of me wants to hold a candle for him, but the other part of me feels like that would be such a waste of a year of my life. Why should I put my life on hold for a boy who I had only been dating for a couple of weeks? Maybe it's the idea of pining away for a soldier overseas that appeals to me so much. I used to think that was so romantic - now I'm starting to realize that the reality of it FUCKING SUCKS.

What it comes down to is that I am alone and I am lonely and I just want to be loved.

2003-10-15T02:10:00.000-04:00

I live for
The weight of your hand on my back
As I drift off to sleep
Beside you.

2003-10-05T01:55:00.000-04:00

Courtney: That's Jenny. She's Sarah's roommate. She's way cool....... I guess.

Sarah: I wonder what a drunk fish would be like.

Sarah: I know you like guys, but seriously, I'm your roommate.

Sarah: All I heard was your tongue.

Courtney: I never brush my hair.

Courtney: I snorted. *giggle giggle giggle*

Jenny: Oops I spelled Giggle with 4 g's

Sarah: I thought you needed some mayo.
Jenny: I need some male.
Sarah: What? I said mayo.
Jenny: Oh. I thought you said male.
Sarah: What would I need male for?

2003-07-23T17:15:00.000-04:00

I stole this from Fitzy because I AM A BAD PERSON AND I LIKE TO STEAL.

LAYER ONE
-- Name: Jenny Lorenz :-)
-- Birthdate: April 17th
-- Birthplace: Manchester
-- Current Location: *sigh* Sitting in my living room in the beautiful, scenic town of Columbia. And by beautiful and scenic I mean BORING.
-- Eye Color: Green
-- Hair Color: Umm... today I would call it auburn with red and blonde highlights.
-- Height: Just about 5'3"
-- Righty or Lefty: Lefty. Righties = Erin, kiss my ass. (She said lefties were genetically inferior. Clearly she was just jealous.)
-- Zodiac Sign: Aries. Man, am I an Aries. I'm about the most stereotypical Aries you'll ever find.

LAYER TWO
-- Your heritage: Russian, Irish, English, Austrian
-- The shoes you wore today: Well, right now I'm wearing red and white checkered flip-flops. But I'll probably put on nice sandals when I decide to actually get dressed.
-- Your weakness: Here I go, here I go, here I go again. Girls, what's my weakness? Men! Okay then.
-- Your fears: Failure and rejection.
-- Your perfect pizza: I like white pizza (no tomato sauce). I also like red pizza ("regular" pizza) with peppers, broccoli, mushrooms, olives, and basically any other vegetable. I like vegetables.
Goal you'd like to achieve: This summer, I would like to go to at least one flute lesson and be really prepared. (Enter fear #1: failure to achieve goal.)

LAYER THREE
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: Definitely "lol." But what can I say? I laugh a lot. I'm a giggly girl, all right? Let me live.
-- Your thoughts first waking up: Usually, "Why the fuck did I stay out so late? Oh yeah, because I like being a social butterfly. I need to get over that and start getting some sleep. OH SHIT I HAVE TO GO TO WORK STOP THINKING AND SHOWER YOU BIG LOSER." Something along those lines.
-- Your best physical feature: Bleh. Nothing. I suppose they're okay when you put them all together, but I certainly don't have any particular feature that is nice by itself.
-- Your bedtime: Usually 1 or 2... or 3... Damn, I need to go to bed earlier.
-- Your most missed memory: The day after Windsor prom at Cait's beach house. Bonding with my best friends, lots of sun, good food - what else could a girl need? Oh yeah, besides sex.

LAYER FOUR
-- Pepsi or Coke: Caffeine Free Diet Coke. Hi, I'm a tool.
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Definitely Burger King. I have an addiction to Whopper Jrs. In fact, I need one RIGHT NOW. I'd go get one except that I haven't actually showered or gotten dressed yet. (Yeah, so what if it's 4:49pm? I was a little slow getting going today, all right? It happens.)
-- Adidas or Nike: Adidas is clearly way cooler.
-- Lipton Iced Tea or Nestea: Nestea raspberry iced tea.
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Either. Actually, both.
-- Cappuccino or coffee: I'm not a coffee person. I'm much more of a Vanilla Chai kind of girl.

LAYER FIVE
-- Smoke: Rarely.
-- Cuss: Ha. I think I put the word "fuck" in every other sentence in some form or another.
-- Sing: All the time, especially in my car with the windows open and the radio blaring.
-- Take a shower everyday: Of course. What kind of dirty motherfucker do you think I am? (LOL Erin, SOB.)
-- Have a crush(es): Do you really need to ask? I am the queen of boy craziness.
-- Do you think you've been in love: Yes. Overrated.
-- (Erin, I took this question out because it was DUMB.)
-- Like high school: I can't say I really miss high school.
-- Want to get married: Only if I actually find someone worth marrying. I'll be honest, chances are slim.
-- Believe in yourself: I believe in my ability to fuck things up.
-- Get motion sickness: Nah. Of course, I also avoid anything that might possibly make me sick. I am terrified of roller coasters.
-- Think you're attractive: I don't think I'm ugly. But I wouldn't consider myself attractive, no.
-- Think you're a health freak: I WISH I was a health freak. Then maybe I wouldn't be such a fat ass. But no such luck.
-- Get along with your parents: On occasion. I find that I get along with my mother much better when I'm out of the house for days at a time. Then she sorta starts to miss me.
-- Like thunderstorms: I didn't used to, but I like them more now.
-- Play an instrument: Barely. God, I need to start practicing again. I AM SUCH A FAILURE AT LIFE. And by life I mean practicing.

LAYER SIX: In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: Of course.
-- Smoked: Yes.
-- Done a drug: Your mom's like a drug. I'm addicted to her.
-- Had Sex: "Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love."
-- Made Out: Clearly.
-- Gone on a date: Not a real one.
-- Gone to the mall?: I went last night, actually. I bought a shirt at Hollister. :-)
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: OH MAN I AM HUNGRY.
-- Eaten sushi: Ewww, I'm not a big fan of raw fish. In fact, I'm not a fan of fish at all.
-- Been on stage: I don't think so.
-- Been dumped: I would've had to be DATING someone to be dumped. Meh.
-- Gone skating: It's a little warm for skating these days.
-- Made homemade cookies: If by "made" you mean, "picked up from the grocery store," well, still no. I don't shop.
-- Gone skinny dipping: Oh yes indeed.
-- Dyed your hair: Not dyed, exactly. Just highlighted.
-- Stolen anything: Just your heart, baby.

LAYER SEVEN: Ever..
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: Anyone up for strip Nintendo?
-- If so, was it mixed company: What would be the point of playing any sort of stripping game if you aren't in mixed company? Unless you're gay. But I'm not.
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Ha.
-- Been caught "doing something": So many times I can't even count. I think I have an exhibitionist streak in me. A very large streak.
-- Been called a tease: I AM a tease. O:-)
-- Gotten beaten up: I don't think I've ever been beaten up, actually. But I'm sure I've deserved to be.
-- Shoplifted: When I was ten or so, I went through a shoplifting phase. I used to steal stickers from The Hoot.
-- Changed who you were to fit in: Haven't we all?

LAYER EIGHT
-- Age you hope to be married: Haha, I believe I am promised to someone by age 23. Scary thought, huh?
-- Numbers and Names of Children: I have never been one of those girls who plans that stuff out.
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: I honestly don't know.
-- How do you want to die: In some dramatic, yet quick and painless, way that makes the evening news.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: A trophy wife.
-- What country would you most like to visit: France.

LAYER NINE: In a guy/girl.. ...
-- Best eye color? The color doesn't matter as long as they're full of intelligence and a little bit of mischief. :-)
-- Best hair color? Doesn't matter as long as it's clean and well-kept.
-- Short or long hair: I used to be a strictly short hair girl, but lately I've gotten away from that a bit... (Meh.)
-- Height: Anything taller than me. Not a difficult achievement.
-- Best weight: I've always had a thing for skinny guys.
-- Best articles of clothing: None. Muahahahaha.
-- Best first date location: Somewhere creative. Preferably outdoors if the weather's nice.
-- Best first kiss location: Who cares? Just kiss me, baby.

LAYER TEN
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: 4.3 (What a stupid question.)
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: I can think of maybe four.
-- Number of CDs that I own: Maybe 60 or so. I am too cheap to buy CDs.
-- Number of piercings: Just one in each ear. I'm sort of traditional like that.
-- Number of tattoos: Seven. They just all happen to be in VERY private places.
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: So many, but usually just for stupid nerdy academic stuff.
-- Number of scars on my body: I don't know, but you're welcome to count... ;-)
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: Very few. Maybe two. I prefer to look at my past as a "learning experience."

So that was long and boring. But I was bored. And long. I'm not sure what that means. Oh well, whatever.

2003-07-06T22:51:00.000-04:00

I wrote in my real journal tonight, for the first time in over a year. It felt so good to be able to write what I was feeling, instead of just what I was doing. Honestly, blogging is becoming absolutely pointless to me. No one particularly cares what I'm doing on a day to day basis, and I can't write about what I'm actually thinking without offending someone or other. So if you really want to know what's going on in my life, just IM me or e-mail me (FlightyFlutist@hotmail.com). Screw this blog stuff.

2003-07-01T23:56:00.000-04:00

I'm chillin at Brett's right now. We're waiting for Clay and Dave to get here so we can go swimming. It's been an interesting week and only aiming to get even more interesting. Friday night: Laurel concert, reunion time with the one and only Amy Elizabeth "Gladys" Wilhelm, JC party. Saturday night: Farmington, reunion time with Shane. Sunday night: Skinny-dipping, 'nuff said. Monday night: Porri/Fleischer party. Tuesday: Natalie's dad's wake :-(, bonding time with Gladys and Cait, Brett's. Rest of the week's plans: Legally Blonde 2 with Amy and Kristen, Hayes' birthday party (with Cait? WORD TO YOUR MOTHER), 4th of July barbecue, fireworks. Word. Time to go. Peace out bitch.

2003-06-30T21:22:00.000-04:00

Nothing is better than an evening spent talking to Dan Allison:

danno6311: A is for aereola
HotRedheadedJew: well B is for blow job
danno6311: C for cunnilingus
HotRedheadedJew: D for dendrophilia
danno6311: E for elephantitis of the genitalia
HotRedheadedJew: F is for fellatio
danno6311: G is for G-Spot
HotRedheadedJew: H is for hand job
danno6311: I is for intercourse
HotRedheadedJew: J is for jerk off
danno6311: K is for KY Jelly
HotRedheadedJew: L is for libido
danno6311: M is for member
HotRedheadedJew: N is for nipple
danno6311: O is for orgasm (duh)
HotRedheadedJew: P is for PENIS!!!!!!!!!!
danno6311: Q is for quicky
HotRedheadedJew: R is for rimming
danno6311: S is for sucking
HotRedheadedJew: T is for titties
danno6311: U is for undercarrage
HotRedheadedJew: V is for vaginal secretions
danno6311: W is for wacking
HotRedheadedJew: X is for xenophilia (sexual arousal from strangers, haha)
danno6311: Y is for you cum first
HotRedheadedJew: Z is for zooerotism

Anyway, life is good. Lots of parties, lots of working, hopefully going to visit Jon next week. And now it's time for me to go out - what the hell am I doing sitting at home at 9:30 on a Monday night?

2003-06-16T00:29:00.000-04:00

I am so lonely that my heart physically aches. I miss having someone love me, and I miss having someone to love. In the past year, I have met a total of maybe three people that I thought I had the potential to feel that way for... actually, off the top of my head, I can only think of two. One has a girlfriend and one is just completely uninterested. So the cookie crumbles, I suppose... and boy, is this cookie crumbling. "I am a cracked egg." *sigh* I miss Jon. But anyway, I really feel like my life is just falling apart lately. I can't turn to my family because they have much more serious problems to deal with, and I can't turn to my friends because when I try to, they're never there. And so I'm dealing alone. I know that I have it pretty damn good - there are so many worse problems I could have. But somehow that thought does nothing to cheer me up. I am inconsolable.

I am also a whiny pain in the ass. Someone please IM me and tell me to stop writing these stupid, self-pitying entries.

2003-06-09T19:47:00.000-04:00

It's been a few days since I've written, I know. I apologize profusely. But I've been busy, and I tend not to write unless I'm in a really miserable mood. (Proof: the horrendously self-pitying cry for attention that was my last entry. What a doof I am.) So here I am, trying to write while I'm in a normal state of mind.

I think most of you are aware of this by now, but in case you somehow missed it, my dad and my brother were in a car accident last Wednesday night. They were coming home from the golf course when a guy swerved into their lane and hit them head-on. My brother walked away with just a few bruises and a sprained finger. My dad, however, broke his leg in three places right down by his ankle. He had to have surgery and they put pins in. He came home from the hospital on Saturday, but now he's back there because apparently there's something wrong with his collarbone also. How they could miss that, I don't understand. Wouldn't that be one of the first places you x-ray on someone who was just in a car accident? Apparently not. But when he came home, he was in such pain that he couldn't walk with the crutches or walker they gave him because his shoulder would just give out. So he's back in the hospital right now getting that checked out.

I spent my Friday night the same way I spend practically every other Friday night - in Tolland. Shocked, hmm? Porri and Fleischer had a party at their apartment. It was a very interesting night - lots and lots of people that I didn't know, which was at the same time both refreshing and a little intimidating. I met a ton of new people, dealt with some stupid shit with some old people, and watched a drunk girl hang all over Dave Hayes - all in all, a fairly typical party. ;-) Unfortunately for Dan and Chris, by the end of the night they had three holes in the wall of their new apartment that they've only been occupying for a week. So that sucks a whole lot for them.

Saturday night was an awesome night, because I spent it with some wonderful friends that I hadn't seen all summer. Lauren invited me up to UConn to spend the night with her, Ehren, and Leila (and of course Ehren's apartment-mates). The four of us, plus one of Ehren's new apartment-mates named Alex, went out to dinner at C.O. Jones (Ballsy Mexican Cuisine lol - "Tequila Makes You More Attractive"), then we came back and played Trivial Pursuit with Fran and his new girl (Annie, I think?), who is soooo adorable! Yay, I'm so psyched for Fran. Everyone headed to bed around midnight, but Lei and I stayed up pretty late doing some bonding. I love that girl so incredibly much. She is just an utterly amazing human being. Beautiful, talented, intelligent, funny, self-confident, and so supportive of her friends... she's such a role model for me. I really look up to her a lot and I'm proud to call myself her friend. Anyway, she drove me to work the next morning (alllllll the way down the hill to the co-op), and then she got a flat tire on the way back! Poor Leila. :-( But I hear Ehren and Lauren gave her a hand putting on the spare - man, I wish I had been there to see that.

After work last night I headed over to Brett's to watch a little Adult Swim. It was fun. Not much else to say on that topic. Oh, the girls also somehow convinced the boys to let us watch an episode of Sex and the City. Cute show, although overrated in my opinion.

Today was one of the most exhausting days I've ever had, I think. All week, I'm substituting in my mom's classroom while she stays home with my dad. I don't know how she deals with those kids every day, every week, all year! By the end of the day, all I wanted to do was sleep. And so I did - I just woke up from a nice nap. Unfortunately, I get to do it all over again tomorrow. *sigh* I have a feeling that my social life will be fairly nonexistent this week. Speaking of which, my parents expressly forbid me to leave the house tonight! What the hell is up with that? I understand not being able to take a car - my mom needed it to go to the hospital with my dad. That's fine. But apparently I can't even have friends pick me up, I just have to stay home. I got really angry at that and threw somewhat of a temper tantrum (who, me?) because I was tired as hell and just didn't (and still don't) quite understand the reasoning behind my house arrest. Why do they need me here when they're not here and I don't have a car to go anywhere even if they did suddenly need me? It's not like they couldn't get in touch with me if I was out - the wonders of cell phones. Stupid parents.

I think I'm going to go find some food now, then head back to sleep. Maybe I'll sleep straight through till morning. That'd be awesome.

2003-06-05T22:50:00.000-04:00

I know that whenever I am looking for a quote to describe how I feel, I can turn to Leila's blog:

"Nam Sibyllam quidem Cumis ego ipse oculis meis vidi in ampulla pendere, et cum illi pueri dicerent: Sibylla ti theleis; respondebat illa: apothanein thelo."
For once I saw with my own eyes the Sibyl at Cumae hanging in a cage, and when the boys asked her, 'Sibyl, what do you want?' she answered 'I want to die.'
~TS Eliot, The Waste Land

It's depressing, really. Because all I ever do is talk about how wonderful my friends are. I tell everyone that I am so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life. And they are wonderful people, they really are. But they're wonderful for each other, not for me. I will never be one of them, and I am constantly reminded of that. Whether it's the explicit statements "You're here again?" or "Oh, of course, it's you," or the never-returned IMs, the way my phone remains silent for days on end because no one ever calls to make plans... it all hurts. A lot. But hey... I guess it's true. I just don't fit in there. Why should I be surprised, really? Have I ever kept a group of friends for more than one semester? Not really. Not close friends. But still... it doesn't make it hurt any less. I suppose I should get some sleep. Everything looks brighter in the morning, especially when you have a morning full of preschoolers at Field Day to look forward to. *sigh* Goodnight.

2003-06-03T22:16:00.000-04:00

I hate feeling like I'm a chore - like it's a huge hassle every time I call or try to make plans. If you don't want me around, say so. And if you're going to talk shit about me behind my back, just have the balls to say it to my face. Good lord.

2003-06-02T00:25:00.000-04:00

I went to see The Italian Job last night. Man oh man, Mark Wahlberg is a beautiful specimen. I brought Shelley along (a friend of mine from high school), which was cool. As much as I love hanging out with my Tolland friends, I always feel sort of stupid when they start to reminisce about things I wasn't around for, so it was nice to have someone to talk about "the good old days" with... not that any day at WHS was a good old day, but you know what I mean. And it was fun to hang out with Shelley anyway - during the school year, I never saw any of my high school friends, even when we all came home for breaks. I spent most of my winter and spring breaks in Tolland. Again, not that there's anything wrong with that. My Tolland friends are absolutely wonderful. But hanging around them always makes me a little sad. They're all so close, and they have been for so long. What was wrong with me that I never made any friends like that? I realized the other day that the only person I still talk to from before high school is Tina, and it's rare that I even talk to her. I went to school with those kids for 9 years, and I only talk to one of them. And even from high school, I only talk to a couple of kids. Tina, Shelley, Morg, Fitz, Pete, Nick on occasion (which is odd since we weren't exactly good friends in high school), a couple of other girls I was on-and-off-again friends with, and of course, the never-ending Matt saga. And that's it. What is wrong with me that I have such an inability to hold on to friends once I make them? Tim said last night that I had been "sucked in" to the Tolland circle. I hope that's true - they are all such incredible people and I hope to remain friends with all of them. Anyway, I started talking about The Italian Job. Good movie, go see it. Fairly similar in plot to Ocean's Eleven, but still good. Especially just to ogle Mark Wahlberg, which is all I did the entire movie.

So yeah, quick summary of last night: movies, Porri's, diner, home. I used soooooo much gas last night for such a relatively uneventful night. Columbia -> Willimantic -> Tolland -> Willimantic -> Tolland -> Vernon -> Tolland -> Columbia. So much driving. I got home around 4:15am. That sorta sucked since I had to work today. I was also supposed to clean my room, but that didn't happen, and oddly enough, my mother didn't even nag me about it!

I really should go to bed. I have to go to Porter for an "interview" with the assistant principal tomorrow so that I can sub - it's really just a formality, I think. The guy already knows me pretty well, and I know he's not going to not hire me. Also, it's Matt's birthday and we're supposed to hang out. I hope that goes all right - I don't want to ruin his birthday by fighting with him over stupid stuff (which is what happens pretty much every time we get together). I have NO idea what we're going to do - I'm so uncreative when it comes to making plans. So we'll see how that turns out. Wish me luck, please. I'll need it.

I'm going to sleep now. I'm exhausted, both mentally and physically, and I have to get up in the morning. Goodnight.

2003-05-25T02:46:00.000-04:00

Did I ever mention that I love hot drunk guys? Cuz I do.

XXXXXXXXXX (2:32:43 AM): like, damn.. i've wanted so much to get my tongue inside you again gorgeous
XXXXXXXXXX (2:33:59 AM): come
XXXXXXXXXX (2:34:00 AM): over
XXXXXXXXXX (2:34:07 AM): we both need to come
XXXXXXXXXX (2:34:19 AM): please
(Screenname deleted to protect the guilty, lol)

I love it. Anyway, not much going on. Life is pretty decent. Working at the co-op, hopefully subbing at Porter (the school that my mom works at and that I attended for 9 years), possibly tutoring... so at least I have a little money coming in. Of course, it's all going right down the drain again since my flute lessons are costing me $50 a week. But it's worth it to get to take lessons with Greig again - he was my teacher from 7th-12th grades, and he is the best ever. I worship the man. Anyway, besides work, I've been going to the gym with my mom every day (yay Curves - I get to listen to middle-aged mothers talk about kids I went to elementary school with!) and I've been hanging out a lot. Mostly in Tolland, but also with some people I was really close to in high school. It's nice to see old friends again.

Unfortunately, I've been having serious wrist problems, so I should stop typing. Also, I should start sleeping - I'm beat. Goodnight.

(Leila, that update was just for you, babe.)

2003-05-19T00:52:00.000-04:00

I just wrote a really mean, spiteful entry. I also didn't mean most of it, so I deleted it.

2003-05-12T23:28:00.000-04:00

Looooong day. Just got back to my room for the first time since 7:20 this morning. I worked nine hours at the co-op, mostly shelving buyback books. What exhausting work! It's just running back and forth and back and forth. And it's HOT back there. I had dinner with a guy from work, which was nice because I don't usually spend any time with any of my co-op friends outside of the store, I just talk to them online. I ran into Dan and Chris in the dining hall and sat down to chat with them, then ended up going back to the apartment to hang out the rest of the night. We drank amaretto sours and played Life - me, Dan, Chris, Natalie, Ehren, and Lauren. I won. :-) It was a lot of fun. They are all such incredible people. Dan, Chris, Natalie, Clay, and Dan's roommate Mike are living together in a house in Willi next year. I can't wait to see it, and better yet, to go to wild parties at it, hehe. I love those guys so much, and I hope to spend a lot of time hanging out there in the fall.

Anyway, I need to go to bed because I have to work another nine hour shift tomorrow, then cram-practice for my jury and my piano exam. *sigh* Why am I such a procrastinator?

2003-05-11T01:53:00.000-04:00

I love how my mood can change so drastically with one tiny little thing going wrong. Yesterday I was on top of the world. I loved my friends, I loved my professors, I loved myself. And today I am full of loathing. Mainly self-loathing. But I also have a very low bullshit tolerance this evening. Therefore I'm going to go to bed instead of talking online before I say something I'm going to regret as soon as I snap out of this shitty mood.

2003-05-09T13:59:00.000-04:00

I can't believe that one week from today, I will be finished with my first year of college. Time flies when you're having fun, I guess. And this really has been a fun year. I have met wonderful, talented people and made the most amazing friends and taken some really great classes and made tons and tons of great memories. (Speaking of which, the memory-making isn't quite over yet... Operation Bake Sale is officially underway, w00t!)

I am such a dork! I stayed at ALL of Midnight Breakfast last night just to hear the a capella groups, hehe. I am an a capella junkie. The Chordials sounded better last night than they have all year, in my opinion. Their blend was MUCH better than usual, and their soloists are always awesome. And it was fun to watch Jon and RJ make Julie laugh the entire time she was on stage. And of course, the Conn-Men were awesome. :-) I love those boys. And Julie and I now have Conn-Men nicknames! w00t! Granted, they're rude and insulting, but isn't that what the Conn-Men are all about? Anyway, CDN and Rubyfruit sounded awesome too, even though Rubyfruit was having trouble hearing each other and weren't together a lot of the time. Oh well, everyone has off nights. All four groups are amazingly talented. I love them.

I am in SUCH a good mood! Can you tell? I am feeling so positive!!!

Okay, time to run to the co-op and buy my dad a birthday card and my mom a mother's day card.

2003-05-05T01:46:00.000-04:00

Sweeney Todd rocked. My Laurel girls were so psyched to see me, and I was equally psyched to see them. I love those girls. And as usual, Pat and Matty brought down the house. They are so incredibly talented. I cannot wait till Pat comes here next year.

Also, I misunderstood Lauren and they're not short JCs, they just extended the deadline. Calling Uncle Jack anyway, though, because I want to be there for Lauren. And also, I really do love LMC.

Random IM quote of the night-
OP b al z bus: this school is made for stupid people and Christians

I enjoy late-night conversations about romantic love songs and sappy love poems and other silly such things. You make my life just a little bit better each and every day - thank you for making me smile. :-) (Speaking of sappy.... hehe.)

2003-05-04T13:01:00.000-04:00

I am at Ali's house right now. We are chillin' with her mom while Clay takes a shower, and then we are going to see Sweeney Todd at Northwest Regional. I am really psyched to see all my friends from Laurel, and I know they'll be really surprised to see me! We have had SUCH a good day so far. Clay and Ali picked me up at 7am (well, that part wasn't so great since I had to get up at 6am and I didn't go to bed till 1:40am) to go to church. While Clay played the organ at the 8am service, Ali and I had a nice little morning on the town. First we went to Walgreens to buy lipstick because I decided I didn't like mine. We found stuff that was buy one, get one free, which is always good. And Ali bought a slinky! She is so goofy, I love it. Then we had breakfast at Dunkin Donuts, and headed back to Walgreens because we decided we wanted to do our nails too. So we bought pretty nail polish and went to the church, and did our nails upstairs while we waited for the first service to finish. We sang in the choir for the 10am service, which was a very interesting experience for me. I had never even been to a church service before (go fig - the Jew doesn't go to church too often), and I didn't know any of the hymns or anything, but was fun. Everyone was really friendly and the sermon was awesome! The highlight: "I will accept no bull from your house." Psalm 50, Verse 9. It was hysterical. The pastor actually used the term "bs" in church! Wow. Not what I expected. That provoked a very interesting conversation between Clay, Ali, and me on the way to Ali's house after. It went something like this:

And the Lord said unto the people, "I will accept no shit from you motherfuckers."
And the people looked up to him in awe.
And Jesus said to the people, "Damn, niggas. Jesus Christ, haven't you ever heard the Lord say fuck?"
And the Lord said unto Jesus, "Do not take your own name in vain."
And Jesus said to the Lord, "Fuckin a."

We were full of silly conversation in the car. It was so out of control. For example, another excerpt:
Jenny: He has only performed oral sex on two girls ever.
Clay: Performed? (In circus ringmaster's voice) Ladies and gentlemen... ladies especially... for our next act, we will now perform....
Jenny: He got his tongue pierced.
Clay: Does it really make oral sex that much better to have a ball bearing hitting your clit?
Jenny and Ali: Quite possibly.
Clay: So Ali, next time I'll just set up a pendulum and leave the room, and you can just lie down under it...

So yeah, it's been a fantastic day so far. And now we get to go see a wonderful show and I get to see my awesome Laurel buddies (w00t sexy Laurel boys). Speaking of which... I am calling Uncle Jack either tonight or tomorrow to see if I can be a JC. Lauren got an e-mail from him basically saying that they were short JCs this year, and I told Lauren that I would go with her if I could get in. So that will be interesting.

Yay I love my friends.

2003-05-02T16:02:00.000-04:00

I am so glad that I let Lauren convince me to go to the banquet. I had such a fantastic time! Leila and Brie made me beautiful before the symphonic band concert - Leila did my hair and Brie did my makeup. My parents barely recognized me! And I found this little black minidress that I thought didn't fit me, but did after all. I felt so hot last night. It was awesome. I was overflowing with self-confidence. I even let Lauren take lots of pictures of me, which usually I'm really shy about. And I hung out with my beautiful girls and my sexy men and it was just great. I even won a superlative - a slightly offensive one, but a superlative nonetheless - "Most Likely to Appear on Jerry Springer." I don't even get that! Whatever. Anyway, the banquet was fantastic. And after the banquet was... *sigh* some things just can't and shouldn't be put into words. But it was just a special night all around. The only bad part was that apparently people were pissed at me for a stupid drunken thing I did... but I'm not going to let that ruin the memory of the night for me.

"Some people never say the words 'I love you' - it's not their style to be so bold. Some people never say those words 'I love you,' but like a child, they're longing to be told."

What a night.

2003-05-01T01:26:00.000-04:00

It's 1:20am and I am crying. But not because of anything negative, although I've had a lot of negative thoughts in my mind tonight. I am crying because I am blessed with such amazing friends. Not everyone is so lucky to have someone spend an hour convincing you that you are attractive when you are deadset on thinking otherwise and then to send you 75 messages of song to help you fall asleep. Nor is everyone so lucky as to receive amazing IMs such as this one:

"I want you to know, that every time I catch you smiling at me in Band, I think to myself, what have I done right in this life, to make such a beautiful creature take the time to give me this glance? How can I possibly be the only person reaping this moment of happiness? You're a beautiful person Jenny Comerford. Don't ever think for one second that you're not. To do that is to cheat yourself, and everyone who sees that beauty inside you."

There are no words to express what either of you mean to me. Just... thank you. I love you.

2003-05-01T00:31:00.000-04:00

I don't know what to do about tomorrow night. So much of me really wants to go to this banquet. Lots of friends, dancing, alcohol - exactly my kind of scene. But I can't get over the fact that I am so fat and not pretty. I know I won't have fun when all around me there are beautiful girls and I am nothing compared to them. I keep trying to talk myself out of that feeling, but I can't help it. I just feel so unattractive. I hate my body so much. Summer always reminds me of that. I never wear bathing suits or shorts, or even short skirts unless I have stockings on to suck in my fat, pale legs. I hate wearing tank tops because my arms are fat. I don't even feel comfortable going out without makeup on anymore. And I HATE being naked in front of people... sort of puts a damper on my sex life (well, as close to any sex life I have, we all know I don't have sex, blah blah blah). I don't want anyone to see my body. I don't know when my self-perception became so warped, but I can't seem to change it back to anything positive.

Also, I don't have a dress.

2003-04-29T22:10:00.000-04:00

So I decided I'm not going to the stupid choir banquet. I tried to go shopping for a dress tonight and I could not find a single thing that fit because I am a stupid fatass. Therefore I have nothing to wear and I'm not going. The end.

2003-04-29T00:08:00.000-04:00

So apparently the choir concert was really good - even my dad was raving about it, and usually he doesn't like that sort of thing. He loved the Schicksalslied. I think he fell asleep during Pedro's concerto, though. My parents took me out for dinner afterward, and it was soooooo nice to have real food. I love eating in restaurants. :-)

I have been very down on myself lately and I don't know why. I've been trying not to let it consume me too much. "You can't keep the birds of sadness from flying around your head, but you can keep them from nesting in your hair." (Yay Walk Two Moons.) I haven't felt pretty or smart or talented, just sort of like one of the crowd - like a person not worth being noticed. Luckily I have wonderful friends who try constantly to remind me otherwise. Lately, I have been relying on Lauren and Leila and Brie very much to make me smile, and they never let me down. They are amazing girls, some of the few females who don't drive me up the goddamn wall. Lauren sent me a very nice IM tonight:

wildefrost2: you're the silliest one i know jenny
wildefrost2: and the prettiest

I love her very much.

I also love Dan Jeanette because he wrote a blog entry about redheads and it made me smile a whole bunch. And Dan Porri because he tells me I'm beautiful when I most need to hear it. And Cippo because he sings to me every night. I do have wonderful friends.

I like the fact that I use the word wonderful so much. It makes me realize that there are a lot of positive aspects to my life, even when I am sad.

Maybe I just need some sleep. Goodnight.

2003-04-27T02:00:00.000-04:00

It's Saturday night (well, I suppose it's early Sunday morning) and I'm very tired. I've gotten a total of eight hours of sleep since I woke up Thursday morning. And yet somehow my spring weekend was still very... well, uneventful. Went to hear CDN on Thursday night. They totally rocked out. I am such a CDN fanatic - I get all giggly and excited for every single song they sing, even though I've heard them a million times. Then the party at the apartment... it was interesting, to say the least. Lots of table dancing and chocolate syrup licking. I definitely had a lot of fun the first half of the night, although my mood got progressively worse. I was getting very down on myself, but luckily I have wonderfully amazing friends like Lauren and Ehren to cheer me up (see previous entry). Also, Chris and Natalie completely rock my world. And then my Tolland boys showed up for the purpose of... well, I can't say exactly what their purpose was in here, but let's just say that it's great to know those guys always got my back when I need 'em. I ended up leaving the party with them and coming back to South, where I promptly began vomiting and landed myself in the infirmary until approximately 4:45pm Friday afternoon, when I realized I needed to get the hell out of there and get to performance class unless I wanted to die a horribly painful death caused by Dr. Barbara Hopkins. After the performance class I went to Mansfield Apts. with some of my friends from Buckley. I hadn't spent any quality time with them in quite a while and it was good to hang out with them again. It was a much-needed break from the whole music people scene. Not that I don't love the music people, but it's nice to hang out with "normal" people too sometimes. Anyway... choir dress rehearsal this morning, then performance class (where I sounded fairly crappy, but also didn't particularly care so whatever), and eventually South B with the boys. We hung out for a bit in Clark and Boudreau's room, then headed out for x-lot. These scary ghetto guys started shit with us right as we crossed south quad - they tried to steal Dave's wallet (what stupid person fucks with Dave Clark? He's 6'8", for god's sake), harassed Clark, and actually punched Cippo. That sort of ruined the whole party mood, so by the time we got to Gampel, Dave, Tim, Cippo, Justin Brown, and I turned back and just came back here to chill. We watched tv for a bit, that's about it. So basically, I didn't go to any of the infamous Spring Weekend events, I didn't get drunk, and I don't particularly care. All I want is some sleep. Goodnight.

2003-04-26T02:23:00.000-04:00

I love Lauren and Ehren.

2003-04-20T19:03:00.000-04:00

While watching a sappy romantic part in a movie with my mother:
Me: Awwwwwww!!!!
Mom: (gives me a look)
Me: What? I have to live vicariously through someone! I wish I had happy endings like that!!
Mom: Don't worry, you'll have happy endings.... lots of them....

*sigh* I love my mom, but does she have to rub it in?

2003-04-20T16:50:00.000-04:00

My mother took me to get my hair done yesterday morning as a birthday present. It was awesome. :-) When I went back to school for Teresa's recital last night, people were so shocked! I had so much confidence in my appearance yesterday, it was crazy. I wish Leila had been there to see it because she would've been so proud of me for feeling beautiful. Mike Piader called me a knockout. :-) Anyway, Teresa's recital was incredible. Her voice is absolutely magical, that's the only way to describe it. After the recital, Dave, Brett, Clay, and I rushed to Massachusetts to buy liquor before 10pm, haha. Then we went to Brett's house and had a nice little party. Of course, I couldn't drink beer, but I did have a nice bottle of Manischewitz, my wonderful birthday present from Tim, Dave, Porri, Burt, and Jani. I love those guys so much. Anyway, the party was fun. A few silly drinking games, some weird bonding time with Jim "Just get on top, honey" Cippolini, and some very funny late-night conversations with Porri via AIM and text-message. Now I'm at home, getting ready to eat a wonderful home-cooked meal (a real one this time, not Chinese take-out!) and bonding with my mother. Hope everyone has a happy passover/easter/weed day. :-)

2003-04-18T09:36:00.000-04:00

What a weird, weird birthday.

Best birthday song: Lauren's Jewish version over IM; my beautiful Chordial girls :-)

Most unexpected birthday greetings: Peter Phillipe Frenzel, Amy Elizabeth "Gladys" Wilhelm, Caitlin Daly

Best birthday musical experience: CDN rehearsal (ahhhh Lonesome Road)

Most charming birthday seduction: Corey Galotta and his piano skills ;-)

Best birthday spank: Jon Richter

Biggest birthday fight: The Comerford/Radin family - Friendly's

Most reliable birthday well-wisher: Meera Shankar

Best birthday away message: Laura Wasdo

Best all-around birthday event: Cranium with Tim, Burt, Dave, Brett

2003-04-17T21:56:00.000-04:00

wildefrost2: Happy birthday to you
wildefrost2: (on passover)
wildefrost2: Happy birthday to you
wildefrost2: (on passover)
wildefrost2: Happy birthday dear Jenny
wildefrost2: (who is Jewish)
wildefrost2: Happy birthday to you
wildefrost2: (don't eat Legumes)
wildefrost2: AND MANY MORE!! :-)

Thank you Lauren, and everyone else who wished me a happy birthday today, especially those of you to whom I haven't spoken in a while. It really meant a lot to me. And now I am off to South B to chill with my wonderful friends. :-)

2003-04-11T23:27:00.000-04:00

I am in a miserable mood. Have been all day. It's Friday night and I'm going to bed at 11:30pm even though all of my friends are partying in South. What a loser I am.

Goodnight.

2003-04-10T23:24:00.000-04:00

What an emotional week. I hate seeing my friends in pain and I wish there was something I could do to magically make everything better. But the best I can do is to be there with hugs and smiles and laughs and late night phone calls, and hope for the best.

I don't have much to say, I am just really in the mood to let everyone know that I love them dearly. Every single one of you has positively impacted my life in some way, shape, or form, and what else could a girl ask for? Thank you everyone, for being who you are.

2003-04-07T23:47:00.000-04:00

Long day.

Harmony lab was almost fun this morning, because all we did was a worksheet. Class flew by and I actually had to look at my watch twice before I believed that it was really time to go already. I love mornings like that.

I have slept soooo much in the past 24 hours. I slept from 7:30pm last night till 7:30am this morning, and then I took a nap from 10am this morning till 2pm this afternoon. That's a lot of sleep! And yet somehow I'm still tired.... I don't get it. I think it's stress. Room selection, class selection, friends, relationships - everything in my life is very muddled right now. But after some events that happened tonight (which unfortunately I'm not real comfortable sharing), I realized that even with all the silly things that go wrong in my life, I have so much for which to be grateful. I have a wonderful family and wonderful friends and I love everyone SO much. I just needed to say that.

I especially love Leila and her beautiful poetry. :-) You inspire me every day, Lee, I just want you to know that. It's funny... in a lot of ways we're not that close, and yet I look up to you more than almost anyone I know.

I spent almost the entire evening in Buckley with my Timmy J, with whom I hadn't spent any quality time in quite a while. I love him so much, he's that person in my life that I can turn to without fail to cheer me up no matter what's wrong. Everyone should be lucky enough to have a person like that! I also hung out with Sam and Dan, two people with whom I don't spend nearly enough time! They're such fun guys. :-) I love them. I am so full of love tonight.

It's snowing. It shouldn't snow in April, and yet I have a hard time complaining about it when campus is so beautiful. I think I'm going to sit here and look out my window for a while. No one has been outside lately, and South Quad is a perfect winter wonderland (minus the fact that it's not winter) - not even a footprint to mar the pristine whiteness, and the streetlamp light is reflecting off the snow so that the very air glistens. Tonight feels like magic.

2003-04-07T10:21:00.000-04:00

I am not: looking forward to the next couple of weeks.

I hurt: when I think about things that have gone wrong this year.

I love: my friends, my family, and lemon sorbet.

I hate: when people get angry over silly things, and when friends fight, and the smell of dining halls.

I fear: that I will never find romance.

I hope: that I make it through the rest of this semester without going crazy.

I crave: honey BBQ wings and lemon sorbet, and someone to love.

I regret: nothing. I refuse to regret any of the decisions I've made in the past year, because at least I've learned from all of them. So hmph.

I cry: not so often as I used to, although I did a fair amount of crying this weekend.

I care: about the wonderful people in my life, especially the great guys who keep me grounded and sane when other people drive me crazy.

I always: feel like I'm not getting enough sleep, even when I go to bed at 7:30pm like I did last night!!!

I long: for warm weather, sunshine, tank tops, new shoes, and for someone to take me on a picnic.

I listen: to a lot of Counting Crows lately. They're my latest addiction.

I hide: a lot even when it seems like I'm being open, and I also hide under my blankets at night after watching scary movies such as The Ring.

I drive: my mom's minivan and my dad's Honda Accord, but I most enjoy driving the Accord I share with my brother because it's a stick and they're much more fun to drive.

I sing: all the time. Right now I'm singing along to Dispatch and Counting Crows on my computer.

I dance: alone in my room all the time.

I write: not frequently enough, because I never have anything important to say that I want to put in my blog.

I breathe: the frigid air in Storrs in April! What's up with that?

I play: strip Nintendo!!!

I miss: having the privacy of my own room, watching tv with my mom, and spring.

I search: for love in all the wrong places.

I learn: important lessons every day from incredibly wise people such as Leila and Lauren, two of the wisest people I know.

I feel: lonely and a little depressed... maybe it's the lack of sunshine.

I know: that eventually things will work out.

I say: too much, and yet so little of what I'm actually thinking.

I succeed: at bullshitting my way through school.

I fail: at having self-confidence.

I dream: of beautiful sunsets and picnics and happy endings. Also, of my brother playing the piano in my parents' bedroom at 11:30pm. (We don't have a piano. Weird.)

I wonder: what people really think of me, but I also know that I'm probably better off not knowing.

I want: to be happy and self-assured.

I worry: too often.

I wish: on shooting stars and at 11:11, and I always wish the same thing, but if I tell you it won't come true.

I have: no class until 4pm!!! Muahahahaha.

I give: more than I receive, but I'm okay with that.

I fight: for what makes me happy, even if it makes other people unhappy.

I wait: for the day when I don't worry about something.

I need: a nap. Goodnight.

2003-04-05T12:53:00.000-05:00

I am so sick of this. I am so tired of having to censor my every action to revolve around the whims of people who don't really like me anyway. I have done nothing this entire year but try to please other people, and I have made a lot of decisions that have made me less happy in order to do so, and yet still some people refuse to be pleased. I am DONE making myself miserable just to try and placate people who insist on being miserable anyway.

Take the way home that leads back to Sullivan St.
Where all the bodies hang on the air
If she remembers, she hides it whenever we meet
Either way now, I don't really care

I'm almost drowning in her seas
She's nearly crawling on her knees
She's down on her knees
~Counting Crows

2003-04-02T23:57:00.000-05:00

Can I just say that I love my flute girls? Thanks to all of you for keeping me sane through yet another afternoon of painful, painful symphonic band rehearsal, and for understanding that you just cannot tune a piccolo no matter how hard you try. :-)

2003-03-30T22:01:00.000-05:00

I realized at the concert why I'm in such a crappy mood after I started crying for no apparent reason at the beginning of In Your Eyes. It's called PMS, people, and it sucks.

2003-03-30T18:13:00.000-05:00

I have a pit in my stomach. It's one of those pits where you know there's something wrong but you can't exactly put your finger on it, and you're afraid to really think about it because then you'll feel worse. I'm trying very hard not to let it ruin my evening, but it is anyway. I feel very up in the air about everything - school, friends, relationships. Nothing is fitting together quite right. Why does this have to happen after such a fun weekend?

2003-03-30T16:39:00.000-05:00

Lauren told me to update my blog, but I really can't think of anything to write about. Life is good, for the most part. I am completely stressing out about next year because I have no idea whether or not I'm staying in the music department, but other than that, things are uneventful. I'm starting to settle back into my school routine after a wonderfully relaxing spring break, and I'm doing fairly well in my classes (well, except for my flute lessons, but I'm not even going to get into that). Let's see, what else... I had a great weekend. :-) I pulled an all-nighter in the music building on Thursday night to practice and do my harmony homework, which was stressful but actually sort of fun. On Friday I watched the game in South B and then Kat and Denise came over to my room. We got tipsy and played Text Twist on my computer. Very dorky, granted, but also very fun. I went to bed at 11pm after being up for 39 hours, then went to work on Saturday. Work was actually fun because we have the greatest staff on Saturdays - a few really nice girls and several very cute boys. Finally came the best part of the weekend, a party at Mansfield Apts! I had not been to one of those in sooooooo long. I used to go last semester all the time with Jim and Justin (a couple of my friends from Buckley), but this was the first time I've gone this semester. Joe, my freshman seminar facilitator from last semester, invited me. I played asshole, kings, and beer pong, and got completely trashed to the point where I could barely stand up without help. I also did some other fun things but I'm going to keep those to myself. 0:-) And somehow I wasn't even sick this morning! So that was awesome. Now I'm just relaxing and reading my Choice Theory book, and looking forward to two very good concerts tonight. First is CDN and the Chordials at 7 in Rome Ballroom. I love CDN with a passion, in a way that is wrong (oh good lord, I can't believe I just used that phrase, haha). I even have their homepage as the wallpaper on my computer! It's an addiction, I swear. I need ACGA - A Capella Groupies Anonymous. Anyway, after that there is a concert by Gabriela Frank, who is an amazing composer and pianist. I'm really excited to hear her piece "An American in Peru," which is supposed to be a mix of Peruvian music and Jewish music. Yay! Okay, now I am going to go read my Choice Theory and talk to some fun people online and maybe take a nap! Everyone should go hear CDN tonight. :-) In the immortal words of Sarah Miyashiro, peace, love, and buffalo chips.

2003-03-23T19:40:00.000-05:00

Yeah, that's right.

You are a goddess!

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-03-13T19:16:00.000-05:00

MasterSexyPants: i'd rather see you happy and in love than unsure and searching blindly... you wear your heart on one sleeve and your vagina on the other

Sad but true. Meh.

I need spring break. One day more.

2003-03-09T22:10:00.000-05:00

Hahaha, I got Leila hooked on stupid quizzes. :-)

Yesterday morning was my audition for the voice dept. Too bad I suck at life. Well, no, I don't suck at life. Just at singing, especially when I'm sick. So that's a no-go, I'm pretty sure. But such is life. I'm really stressing, though. I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with the rest of my life or even with the rest of my years in college and that really scares me. I need a plan and I don't have one and it makes me really nervous. According to Myers-Briggs, it's because I'm a J and I need to have everything planned out way in advance. I suppose that's true. I feel really unsettled and off-balance when I don't know what's going on in my life. Ahhhh and I'm so frazzled and I'm repeating myself and I HATE THAT! New topic.

I went to see The Laramie Project last night because my Timmy baby was in it. It was.... well, it made me think a lot. Leila wrote in her blog that she is jaded - I am trying so hard not to become that way. I'd rather be a bleeding heart idealist. But anyway, the show was really good and it was great to see Timmy in his element. He did a wonderful job and I love him dearly.

Today was shopping-with-mommy day. Man, I love my mother. Who else's mother would stand in Victoria's Secret for half an hour and insist that she buy you lingerie because sometimes "it just makes you feel good" to have sexy nightwear? And then she bought me new sandals while we stood around and talked about how silly it was for me to buy more shoes because I have so many already. Other purchases of the afternoon included a cute new shirt from the Gap and very adorable underwear that I saw while I was shopping with Brie and Teresa and just HAD to get. After the shopping spree, I convinced her to take me to Hartford to hear the concert choir perform their "pre-tour engagement." Oh man. I love the concert choir. Especially the boys. Men. Men in tuxes. I felt so guilty for all the dirty thoughts running through my head in that church. All orgasms aside, lol, they sounded incredible. How could you possibly top a concert with solos from Dan and RJ? Oh wait. You can't. Beautiful beautiful beautiful. I loved it. I could rave some more, but there'd be no point because I'd be repeating myself again.

And that was my weekend. Now time to do some last minute theory homework while doing the usual Sunday night adult swim with Dave Clark and Co.

2003-03-05T15:43:00.000-05:00

I've been sick all afternoon but couldn't fall asleep, so instead I've been taking silly online quizzes at Quizilla.com. I thought the results were fairly interesting. Check it out, yo. :-) Make sure you wait for the pictures to load, because they have the descriptions on them.

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
places. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

Cute Flirt

You are an IDEALISTIC VIRGIN.

You are a Dubliner.

2003-03-04T12:39:00.000-05:00