Every day I tell myself that I should write a letter to Mike, and every day I somehow manage to not get around to it. I don't know what I'm so afraid of, but something deep inside me just won't let me write that letter. I think I'm afraid of writing something I'll regret. I usually manage to do that, especially if I write late at night. I've determined that composing letters or e-mails at night is the worst possible thing I could ever do, because I always, without fail, end up saying something that I regret in the morning.

So I've developed this odd crush on a friend of mine who will remain unnamed (I never know whose prying eyes will stumble upon this). I sort of can't wait till we all go back to our respective colleges so that the phase will pass over, because as usual, it's one of those crushes that will go absolutely nowhere. Maybe it's just my low self-esteem that makes me think this, but somehow I always end up falling for guys that are way out of my league. I don't know why I always think guys are too good for me, but I do. And you know what? They usually do too.

I got my hair cut. I love it.

I think my hardcore partying (well, not really partying, but staying out wicked late every night, at least) is catching up with me - I'm soooo tired, even though I slept till 1pm. Tonight should probably be a night off - yeah, like that will happen.

I don't understand how half the time I have Scarlett O'Hara Syndrome (I can make any man in the world love me if I choose to do so) and half the time I have Lucy from Peanuts Syndrome (*sigh* sometimes I think no one will ever love me). Maybe I'm bipolar. Just kidding, but still, my self-esteem needs to stop having such large goddamn mood swings. Then maybe my life will be a little easier. Like I told Ben last night, the problem I suffer from most frequently is WBS - Whiny Bitch Syndrome.

Time to get ready for work... yet another lovely evening at the co-op. There's nowhere I'd rather be. *snort* Riiiiiiight.
posted by Jen at 1:19 PM